Author: David Romanelli
Bringing it…at 100!
Joe Pietroforte is rare.
He is 100.
He is a decorated veteran.
His mind is sharp and he shares VIVID memories from every decade of his lifetime.
Joe took me through his nice months of combat in Europe during World War 2.
They crossed rivers in the pitch black of night.
The Germans were often well-entrenched, shooting at them from the other side of the river.
One out of every two soldiers Joe fought alongside did not survive.
Some just hid in their foxholes and didn’t come out.
Others shot off their own toes or fingers, in hope that a trip to the medic would help them avoid combat.
He said, “Dying is easier than living when you’re in combat.”
I asked Joe if he knew he had this courage within him?
“I knew I’d die here or die there. I figured there was no chance I’d survive the war.”
But he survived, and pressed on with his portable rocket launcher, 3 rockets, grenades, belt of ammo, and a backpack with 2 days of rations, a bayonet and a shovel.
After the war, he was decorated with a Silver Star, Bronze Star, European Theater of Operations, 3 battle stars, a victory medal, a Medal of Honor from the government of Luxembourg, a Medal of Honor from the government of Belgium.
Joe did not have a gratitude teaching to tie it all together with a pretty little bow.
When talking to these elders with such a prestigious and grizzly history, I remember that words and quotes and sayings are cheap, something anyone can cut and paste.
Here’s what I did learn from Joe, whose wife died 10 years ago, and yet he is still going strong.
He lives with his baby brother who is 91.
They obviously have good genetics. They credit their diet of olive oil and homemade red wine.
Joe’s brother sings opera.
And Joe LOVES to go dancing, especially when accompanied by younger women.
He said, at this point in his life, when he wears his World War 2 uniform, he is a celebrity.
Joe recently met two younger woman at a veterans event, and they took him out for a night of dancing.
I left this meeting with Joe’s favorite “swing music” playing in my car, imagining the incredible thought of a 100-year-old dancing his heart out!
To spend an hour with any combat veteran, let alone a decorated WW2 centenarian, changes the definition on “value of life.”
It’s not something that usually comes up in conversation and is rarely something one recognizes until their very life comes into question.
When I got together with some of my best college friends last week, we watched the NCAA Tournament, talked about fitness trends, business investments, mutual friends who are struggling, friends who are thriving.
Maybe this sounds like a conversation you’d have with your friends?
There was no “value of life” in the conversation.
And it might have been awkward if someone were to suddenly say, “Dude, how about this? We are lucky to be alive.”
Therein lies the value of the Joe Pietrofortes of the world.
In his book War, Sebastien Junger writes, “Combat isn’t where you might die — though that does happen — it’s where you find out whether you get to keep on living.
“Don’t underestimate the power of that revelation.
“Don’t underestimate the things young men will wager in order to play that game one more time.”
You get to keep on living.
If that doesn’t resonate…
Imagine voicing your everyday complaints to Joe’s best friends…many of whom perished on the European battlefields, right in front of his eyes.
If it still doesn’t hit you in the heart…
Yesterday I visited my friend who has been in ICU, fighting for his life, every second of everyday, for over a month!
He has 2 young children. His road to recovery will be months and even years into the future.
When asked if he is depressed, he said, “No. I’m fighting to survive so that I can be a parent to my children.”
Consider parenting, not as a hassle, but as a privilege.
You get to keep on parenting.
You get to to keep on running, stretching, breathing.
You get to keep on dancing.
There will come a day when you can’t do this stuff anymore.
God wiling, it’s a day in the very distant future.
But as Joe or my friend in ICU might tell you, that day can come any second.
So fill in the blank.
Today, I get to keep on —————-.
And go do it!!!!
Oscar Wilde said, “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people just exist.”
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Pittsburgh And A Survivor
Lessons From A 111-Year-Old
My oldest friend was 108 years old when I met her. She lived to be 111. She was one of the few supercentenarians not just in her hometown of NYC but on the entire planet.
Of the 7 billion people on earth, there are only around 60 people at any one time who are supercentenarians…110 and older!
To reach that rarified age, you need the genetics. But you also need the attitude. These are 3 lessons I leaned from one of the oldest people on the planet:
1.When I asked this 111 year-old lady for her secrets on health and longevity, she answered, “Sex, vodka, and spicy food!”
We call that “Joie de Vivre” or the “joy of life.”
It’s so important to take a moment each day to push back from your computer and savor the sunshine, the music, the dark chocolate. I have a mantra that I call The BFD Mantra. “A beautiful, funny, and delicious moment each day keeps the stress away.”
2. This 111 year-old lady told me she’d been married 5 times!
We call that resilience.
It’s so important to bounce back from your setbacks. In matters of health or finance or career or relationships, we all get knocked down. Not everyone gets up. You gotta get up and keep truckin!
3. When the social worker put his hands on the 111-year-old’s shoulders to help her lie down, she said to the social worker, “Are you propositioning me?”
She had a great sense of humor and wouldn’t we all benefit from loosening our grip on life!
I learned so many lessons from this 111 year old lady but nothing more important than recognizing that the oldest and wisest people have so much to teach us, so much wisdom and history. And yet so many of our elders are isolated, lonely, and dying with their stories in their hearts.
I wanted to do more to bring the old and the young together. So I created a series of events called DRINKS WITH YOUR ELDERS. I’ve hosted these events in cities across the USA. We open a bottle of wine and have an intergenerational conversation about love, relationships, regrets, dreams, everything under the sun.
The next such event is Thursday, November 8 in New York City. You are invited. Please come. Here are the details. Its a chance to hear stories from a generation of people who won’t be with us much longer.
Its a chance to hear stories from a generation of people who won’t be with us much longer.
At this event, I will also share stories from new book, LIFE LESSONS FROM THE OLDEST AND WISEST.
Launching in November, the book is a compilation of everything I’ve learned from these Drinks with Your Elders events and many years of conversations with the oldest and wisest people in our communities. They have great advice on marriage, divorce, parenting, health, happiness, and finding time for it all amidst the busyness of life.
I’m excited to see you in a few weeks…
Thursday, November 8, 2018
6:30-7:45pm
The Brick Presbyterian Church in NEW YORK CITY
62 East 92nd Street (between Park/Madison) 3rd floor,
Carnegie Room – wheelchair accessible
Please RSVP:212 289-5300